Drama to Regained Composure

September 25, 2010

So I think I’ve decompressed enough to explain the homestay disaster. It went down on Thursday and since then I’ve been staying at a hostel and doing more sightseeing. I’ll start with the drama and end on the lighter note of my sightseeing.

After having a bit of a sore throat for a few days (catching it from the kid who we had taken to the hosptial), I woke up Thursday morning with a fever and very sore throat. Of course that didn’t stop “the shrew” from expecting me to work. I didn’t say a word and played with the boy and tried to teach him so English. Over breakfast things took the crazy turn. In Korean culture it is polite to for the younger folks (and others in positions of inferiority) to put more food into the bowls of the elders. Seo did this for me and his mother using the spoon he’d been eating with. I didn’t stop him, but I also didn’t want to eat it (I wouldn’t want it from her spoon either). To me young children are very germy – even with high school kids new teachers get sick a lot from the students – and I’ve seen what this kid does. When the mother suggested I eat more I just said I was full and didn’t want a confrontation. She pushed me on it and I told her my reasoning. She got really upset. She’s telling me how clean he is. This is after she had already yelled at me in the morning for touching ice cubes with my newly washed hands that her son then was eating. She said how everyone in the world knows my hands would be dirty. So once again our different cultural standards of cleanliness came to a head, but she didn’t see her views as cultural choices rather than the norm of the whole world. When I’ve known of what Korean etiquette is around cleanliness I’ve follow it, but I’m still learning. She doesn’t have the flexibility to deal with my learning curve and is not worldly enough to see that Korean standards are not universal.

So with her fury that I didn’t want to eat from her son’s spoon she told me to leave. I thought she meant the room so I went to do some dishes. I was trying to do some deep breathing to calm down and focus on getting through the month. She came to the kitchen and explained she wanted me to leave the house for a spell! At that point my ability to tolerate the job ended and I went to pack my bags. She was yelling at me and telling me not to talk at all.

Once my bags were packed I asked for the pay she owed me for the week and a half (my blood pressure is rising just writing this). Not to my surprise she refused. I said I wouldn’t leave until she paid me. She turned violent and kept threatening to hit me. She searched in the playroom and found a wooden hanger to threaten to strike me with. I didn’t flinch and told her I would call the police if she hit me. She also looked around to check that I didn’t steal anything from the playroom! This was so surreal and ridiculous to me. Here I am 35 and about to get in my first physical fight of my life with a 35 year old woman! She never did strike me, but she started yanking at my bags to try to throw me out. I said I would leave as soon as she paid me my due. She said how I’ve been sleeping in her home, using water and I made a (quick!) call to the US (this was after days of my imprisonment when I knew my mom would be worried). I said the housing was part of my salary and that I would pay her for the call if she paid me my salary. Of course, she kept refusing and I had no legal options to pursue. She was screaming at me and at one point in her attempts to grab my bags she hurt my left hand. I didn’t realize it until later, but I had a hefty bruise and bump from my forefinger down to my thumb.

The doorbell rings and a building security guard walked in. Of course he didn’t speak English and who knows what lies she told him. And his job is to keep his residents happy so with that I was out. I feel so badly for the child who has this kind of mother to contend with. I left crying and didn’t stop crying for awhile. The episode itself was so upsetting, but also my hope of having this job help with the remainder of my trip was dashed. I have no desire to stay in Korea longer and just hope my mom’s optimism is right and that the troubles of my trip are just concentrated at the beginning. I have little hope that something else will come together here and even though I have met some nice people here she has spoiled Korea for me. At least for now. I am going to visit the DMZ on Tuesday and soon after head to Singapore.

My first casualty of my trip is my black business suit dress. I left it at the apartment because she was going to help me take it to the dry cleaners (shocking she never actually helped me) and I forgot it was on a table. That and my soap and soap dish. At least she didn’t break my computer or camera with all her violent struggles. My one hope of consolation is that her husband will blame her for me leaving. He seemed more reasonable and stable – as well as questioning of her.

On to more pleasant topics – I had a nice walk around the city yesterday. I hit yet another palace – and I think there are 2 more. I happened to catch the changing of the guard which was cool. This was quite small, but did house a contemporary art museum. They had a fascinating exhibit on realism in modern Asian paintings. I know western art modern art pretty well, but not Asian so it was interesting to see. The exhibit was looking at how history (i.e. colonialism, escapism from colonialism, nationalism, independence and propaganda) was influencing the art. I really enjoyed it because the works were so different from the traditional Asian styles I’ve seen.

Near this palace is City Hall. A new one is being built that is quite an interesting design. It's the one with lots of colorful plates (photos of people). I also visited a mountain side that has both a Shamanist shrine and Buddhist temple. They were humble structures, but the paintings on the temple intrigued me. Maybe the starving Buddha is to show that he is content and has succeeded in not wanting and therefore he doesn't suffer. He has attained nirvana. That is my rudimentary interpretation with my basic knowledge of Buddhism.

I also walked up to the top of Namsan mountain to see views of Seoul at night. I was saving money by not paying for the cable car and had the added benefit of a hefty workout. I was so proud I didn’t have to stop to rest! Towards the top and Korean man and I happened to be next to each other at the same pace. We didn’t have any exchange, but when we reached the top I bowed to him in celebration. He then asked if we could have our picture together. I guess he had fun with this American hiking up with him. :)

The top has the N Seoul Tower, but the views were nice enough that I didn’t pay to go up. This area is a popular spot for lovers and you can see the picture of the “Christmas” tree filled with tokens of love. I had fun with this – Christmas being my favorite holiday and all. On the walk down I took a wrong turn that added about an hour to my walk. I could have grabbed a bus, but was content to walk off my dinner a bit. I had to digest a little more before I ate my donut from Krispy Kreme!

Today I’m hoping to catch a Taekwondo practice at a temple and maybe hit another museum.

One thing I’ve noticed here is that American styles are very popular. I’ve never been to a country abroad before where most of the people (at least in the cities) dress like Americans. If they were in the US I’d just figure they were American. Baseball hates are very popular which isn’t surprising given the country’s love of the game. I saw a woman yesterday with a Red Sox (Go Sox!) hat and a Yankees shirt. How sacrilege!!! Rightfully so, I see more Red Sox hats than Yankees ones.