Adjusting & Enjoying

July 13, 2011

My first three weeks back in the US have been filled with friends, family, rest, adjustment, TV and anxiety. It’s been wonderful to see my sister and friends, but I still have many people I still want to see. Isn’t it great how for those you are really close with months apart quickly fade away when you see them again. There is no pause or lapse in the relationship and there is immediate ease at being together again. However, I’ve noticed when I meet strangers or friends of friends I have to try harder to connect and socialize. Obviously, it isn’t that I haven’t been around people, but the type of people is different. The typical questions and conversation topics with people on the backpacking circuit is quite different than here. The local population is also different and my link to them is different.

My first stop was Washington, DC. I landed early and took a SuperShuttle to my friend’s home. My first culture shock was the price of the SuperShuttle - $30! My next shock was everything passing by my window. The highway, the signs, the grass, the cars, the buildings and lights all looked so CLEAN, NEW and RICH. I felt like I was on a television set and wanted to reach out and touch it all to make sure it was real.

A few days later I headed to New York City and did not have this reaction, especially down in the subway. The filth and smell of the city rivaled that of the developing countries I visited.

I happily noticed that the thicker skin I had grown living in NYC had worn away these last several months. I felt lighter, calmer and friendlier while walking around NY then I did while living there. Despite the risk of being deemed loony, I smiled and chatted with strangers more. It feels so much better being in this state, then my old one.

I’ve been in DC, NYC and San Diego in these three weeks and my reaction to each place has been different. DC was nice to visit. I thought I’d enjoy walking around some of my old haunts in NY, but I wasn’t excited to see the city. I was psyched to see my friends, but the city had lost its allure. It felt cold, rushed and stress filled. In contrast, landing in San Diego was refreshing. I lived here for four years and have contemplated moving back. The relaxed vibe pushes me in that direction.

Another thing that struck me was the clothing. Coming from India and Tanzania where many women wear vibrant patterned clothes, the clothes here (including mine) seem so bland. In NY, people also seemed sloppy in their summer casual clothes. In Tanzania, people dressed in as nice and clean of clothes as possible so even on a bus ride men often wore suits. I like comfy clothes and am no fashionista so I’m just reporting my observation.

Certain clothes especially shocked me - the clothes on dogs! We have so much stuff in America (me included!) that some even want to make their pets fashionistas. We have whole stores - no, boutiques - dedicated to dogs or cats. I even saw one woman holding her clothed dog in her lap as she sat at an outdoor restaurant. And to add to my amusement the dog had sunglasses! It struck me as so funny, but at the same time I was seeing the reality of excess and materialism. A level of materialism that just isn't possible for most people who inhabit the planet. For me it's hard to accept the huge gap of the haves and have nots, but I also think it would be good for me to have fewer things and desire to have more then I need. Still working on that...

My mind still spins at how big everything is here. The stores, parking lots, highways, cars, houses, buildings - everything is HUGE! And within these big stores there is so much to buy. We have so many options and such variety. We have loads of technological gadgets and companies keep coming out with "the newer and better" option so we keep buying. I look around I see even more people staring at screens then before I left. E-Books, iPhones and its sisters, as well as iPads are much more common then before. And I just found out 3D is being added to phones. More addictions for us!

During the trip I didn’t miss many foods, but I did miss Mexican food and desserts. So I have indulged quite a bit in both. :) I’m also slowly shaking my training of not using my left hand. I had to not only avoid eating with my left hand on my trip, but also avoid handing or receiving something from another person with that hand. If I do it now I have a split second of feeling that I’m doing something wrong.

One difference in me I noticed is my driving. I’ve been borrowing my sister’s car in San Diego and I don’t drive as fast as I used to. Usually I’d drive a little over the speed limit and avoid being stuck behind cars on the highway. I’d pass cars so I’d have more of the open road. It didn’t matter if I had no time crunch. Now I’ve been going 60 on the highway rather than the 65 speed limit. And I feel no need to pass; I just hang behind the big trucks. I’m not sure if this will last, but it feels good.

I also have realized my memory of things before the trip is terrible! I was trying to tell someone where I always buy my purses and I couldn’t even remember the name. It took me 24 hours to recall it! Hopefully, my memory will come back with rest and time. :)

Pedestrians are definitely seen differently in California versus most of my trip destinations. My sister and I were waiting to cross the street and a car didn’t seem to be stopping for us. My sister was annoyed because in California pedestrians have right of way to a fault. However, I’ve gotten used to having to dodge and fight my way across the street.

I am fighting back my growing anxiety about deciding where to live and the upcoming job search. I’ve been indecisive about that as well as just coordinating my next travels to visit family and friends. Our country is so large that it’s more difficult to get around in then most of the countries I just visited (India excluded) – and more costly.

I have been pretty low energy and unmotivated these weeks. I just needed to rest after the action packed 10 months. I’m feeling more rested now – hence I finally got around to another blog entry. I loved my trip, but am happy that I don’t miss being on it. I made the right decision to come home early. Usually I come home from a trip and daydream about being back on the trip so this is a nice change.